Just Say Goo

After dinner tonight I had to run out to Target to get some Fancy Feast for the ferocious felines who were not happy with the Whiskas I served up for them. Before dinner I had downed two very large glasses of water to combat the Africa death hot 100 degree temperatures we are experiencing. So rather than give TMI, because that it was I got tonight, lets suffice to say that I had to use Target's facilities.

I don't like public restrooms. They are dirty. They smell. People do horrible things in there that God forbid they don't do at home. At least I hope so. As I entered I heard a woman mumbling away, but I did not see anyone, so I quickly selected a clean stall and proceeded to do pee. She continues chatting away, I thought maybe to her child in the stall with her because she is talking about a dress. Then I hear the toilet flush. Oh surely she has taken her child to the toilet as she continues what I then realized was a ONE WAY conversation.

OH HELL NO. She was talking on her cellphone, making all sorts of bodily function noises, and just chatting away to someone on the other end. My question is... What is so fucking important that it can't wait 10 minutes, so you can wipe you butt, wash your hands and then take the call after you leave the restroom? I don't think that person on the other end was dying, because you were talking about a dress, so why did it have to be then? I mean really, how uncomfortable for the person you were talking to as she must have known you were in the toilet. How disrespectful, to your friend and to your fellow toilet goers. And you can't tell me that you are not getting germs on your phone and then holding it up to your face... EEEEEEEEWWWWWWW. Time and again, I have heard phones go off in a public restroom and am stunned every time when people actually answer them. WHY? It can WAIT. Flush the toilet, wash your hands, then go and call them back outside. It is not life or death. Get over yourself.

When did we become so rude and discourteous? When we started using cellphones. It has become an epidemic. People are texting other friends and family while they are having dinner, coffee, drinks with others. People can't even leave the goddammed things in the car while they are at the movies. You can't be without your electronic leash for two hours? WTF? I can understand if you are a doctor on call, or waiting for the transplant team to tell you your kidney is on its way, but to be so inconsiderate of others that you can't leave your phone, or at least turn it off in a movie theater. How fucking rude. And before the movie starts, there is the little advert that tells you to turn them OFF - and everyone fumbles around - seem it a hundred times, the ritual of turning the cellphone to vibrate - but then, just wait, it happens every time.. so stupid fucking asshole's phone rings during the movie. Are you that important? Will they give your kidney to someone else. And it is not just about the phone ringing ok people..but also about texting in the movie. If I am sitting behind you and you open your phone to text someone I see the glare from your phone, as well as what you are writing. Get off your lazy ass, go out to the lobby and do it, or better yet, go sit on the toilet.

I went to a very close friends funeral a few years ago. Of course during a funeral service in a funeral home, one would expect everyone's cell phones and pagers to be turned off for the duration of the service. That seems like the respectful thing to do. Right? But NO. Some asshole, who happens to be my ex-husbands brother, did not turn his phone off, and right in the middle of the service, we were greeted with the echols of "The Good, The Bad and the Ugly". I could have killed him. Then we could all let our cell phones play at his funeral, all the while saying Gooo!

Labels: cellphone etiqutte, cellphones at funerals, cellphones in movies, cellphones in public restroom, cellphones in restroom, cellphones in toilet, manners, rudness, texting