Just Say Goo

It's that time again, when thousands upon thousands of talented hopefuls, and I use that term loosely, line up outside of theaters across the USA to compete in the America's Got Talent contest. After watching a few of the episodes I will have to agree that yes, America does indeed have some talent, but for the most part, the singing and shenanigans of many performers are reminiscent of The Gong Show.

While the judges are giving constructive, and in some cases much warranted destructive criticism of the acts, I find myself judging the judges. Piers has class, Sharon Osbourne is just cool for surviving life with Ozzy for so many years and then we have "the Hoff". Can someone please tell me why this man is still allowed to be on national television? Why? He has no talent, he has no ability to form complete sentences and he oogles all the attractive women on the show. What is the point? What is his point? As I watched him trying to speak, without thinking of course because they are mutually exclusive in his world, I was once more fully aware that he has no point whatsoever.

The judges have buzzers that flash big red Xs when they want to terminate a performer, all warranted I must say, and I find myself wanting to big red X Hasselhoff. Since he does not possess any talent as an actor, or singer for that matter, I am not sure what qualifications he holds for judging others' performance quality. And for those of you that did not know Hasselhoff made a very meager and embarrassing attempt at a singing career. He was loved and adored in Europe and even sang at the falling of the Berlin Wall, but in America, we clearly thought he did not have talent, so we big red Xed him. We shall entertain you with that here. And NO, this is not a joke.


"Ooga Chucka Ooga Chucka" - what exactly IS that? It sounds like a Neanderthal mating call. Come to think of it, he totally has that whole caveman image as he posseses their distinctive cranial features of including the ridged sloping forehead and furrowed brow.

So while we may not be cool for hasselling the Hoff, I wonder if the folks at Geico are looking for new cavemen for their ridiculously annoying commercials. So Dave, why don't you do us all a favor and get in your little "Kit car" and Knight Ride on over to the folks at Geico. Leave the talent to the talented because you will always get the from me.

Labels: Americas Got Talent, David Hasselhoff, Hooked on a Feeling, judges, judges on Americas Got Talent, television, tv, why is David Hassehoff still on tv